Odlomak 28

(Roberto Bolaño, Amulet)

That was what I saw. That was what I saw, seized by a tremor that only I could feel. Then I opened my eyes and the Mexican sky appeared. I’m in Mexico, I thought, with the tail end of that tremor still slithering through me. Here I am, I thought. And the memory of the dust vanished immediately. I saw the sky through a window. I saw the light of Mexico City shifting over the walls. I saw the Spanish poets and their shining books. And I said to them: Don Pedro, León (how odd, I called the older and more venerable of the two simply by his first name, while the younger one was somehow more intimidating, and I couldn’t help calling him Don Pedro!), let me take care of this, you get on with your work, you keep writing, don’t mind me, just pretend I’m the invisible woman. And they would laugh, or rather León Felipe would laugh, although to be honest it was hard to tell if he was laughing or clearing his throat or swearing, he was like a volcano, that man, while Don Pedro Garfías would look at me and then look away, and his gaze (that sad haze of his) would settle on something, I don’t know, a vase, or a shelf full of books (that melancholy gaze of his), and I would think: What’s so special about that vase or the spines of those books he’s gazing at, why are they filling him with such sadness? And sometimes, when he had left the room or stopped looking at me, I began to wonder and even went to look at the vase in question or the aforementioned books and came to the conclusion (a conclusion which, I hasten to add, I promptly rejected) that Hell or one of it secret doors was hidden there in those seemingly inoffensive objects.